Tidus/Final Fantasy X
This whiny kid with major Daddy issues was the first time a Final Fantasy game failed to let us connect with its main character; even FF IX at least gave us a sense of weird other-worldliness with characters like Freya, Amarant, and Quina. By the time the game’s ending “twist” was revealed, Tidus had already had plenty of time to get on our nerves, making it harder to really feel for him. While the overall game was enjoyable, Tidus wasn’t quite its crowning moment.
Fatman/Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
While the Metal Gear Solid universe certainly isn’t deeply rooted in realism where its boss characters are concerned, the fact remains that many of its big bad guys are undeniably interesting, entertaining, even cinematic, and the showdowns with some of its motley cast of villains nothing short of epic and memorable (Psycho Mantis, anyone? The End?).
But then there’s Fatman, the first member of terrorist group Dead Cell you’ll face as you make your way through the struts of the Big Shell ocean cleaning rig. Fatman is memorable and unique for all the wrong reasons. An explosives expert he may be, but it’s hard to take him very serious as he’s zig-zagging all around the place on rollerblades like a misshapen car hop straight out of a 1950s malt shop drive-thru! In the world of evil terrorist villains, you can tell he’s the kid that got picked on the most in gym class. His catchphrase makes it all so apparent: “Laugh and grow fat…”
Adoring Fan/Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
At first, we loved this guy. He followed us everywhere! Then we started to get a little freaked out. Whenever we returned to the little home we bought in the harbor, he would just be there – all the time! – praising us for our heroic deeds in the Arena. He would also be standing uncomfortably near the bed whenever our characters woke up. He’s quite dorky, with his weird hairdo and irritating voice. If you’ve never met the Adoring Fan, here is a sample line of his dialogue:
If the player asks him to stay put: “Here? Right here? What about, say… over there? No? Right here? All right then, you’re the Grand Champion! Whatever you say!”
We ended up executing him…
Pit/Kid Icarus: Uprising
Kid Icarus: Uprising contains some great dialogue throughout its epic adventure. However, after a short period of time, you soon realise that Pit, the boy angel and saviour of the Earth, is nothing but a huge dork. Clearly a little too mothered by Palutena, the Goddess of Light, Pit doesn’t always get the picture and is frequently mocked by all. Even Palutena will join in the banter with Medusa and co. putting Pit down. Will the poor boy ever catch a break?
Ebisumaru/Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon
What a character. A chunky blue-haired chap who believes he’s descended from James Dean, he’s the epitome of bumbling sidekick. Surprisingly deft with his weapon of choice, the Fan, he potters about making utterly eccentric comments and adding nothing in particular to the storyline of Mystical Ninja. Without a doubt the strangest character to come out of Japanese gaming (and that’s saying something!), yet he’s surprisingly loveable despite the various oddities of his personality.
This guy is a complete social failure, and makes Otacon look cool! He not only fails to add anything to the game, he actively creeps on the main character and, in an unforgivable move, burdens your limited inventory with undroppable items that serve no purpose.