Ganz Rothschild/Radiata Stories
Though he’s quite a loveable character, Ganz Rothschild, the captain of the Knights of Radiata, claims this spot due, in part, to his continuous proclamations of the Rose Cochon Brigade, which he is in charge of (and is about the only thing we remember from that game).
Roman/Grand Theft Auto IV
What was most awkward about Roman to us was his constant calls to go to strip clubs and bowling while we were in the middle of a mission. It always felt uneasy when we refused him and he replied “Okay, uh, maybe next time?”
He was quite the oaf, always messing things up and having Niko clean up after him. Definitely a video game dork!
Tingle/The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (first appearance)
When you’ve had a bad day and need something to cheer you up, think of Tingle. This guy is the definition of a loser. A stumpy, strange-looking man, dressed up in a wannabe “fairy boy” costume, Tingle, for all his enthusiasm and sparkly magic powder, is not as successful as he’d like to be. And when you talk to him, you soon realise that he probably never will be (although he did end up having his own game!).
Thirty-five years old, presumably single and employed as a map seller by his father. This involves him floating around on a balloon until Link cruelly shoots him down with an arrow, potentially shattering his legs in the process. Tingle acts like a child, constantly rambling “magic” words and giving you his bleeding life story. Our advice: just keep on walking past when you see him, the map really isn’t worth the weirdness!
Eric/Tony Hawk’s Underground
Including, but not limited to, turning on you to start his own skateboarding career, Eric will do just about anything to make it big. He’s kind of a hard nut to crack, but inside, he’s a complete child. He doesn’t fit in with the big cheeses, and he seems like everything he does is awkward and sort of cringeworthy. To this end, we found it hard to hate him during our playthrough of THUG. Instead, we were kind of mocking him to ourselves. He’s an absolute berk.
While some of our other choices here display “dorkiness” in more charming ways, Tekken‘s Hong Kong cop Lei Wulong borders on the “chronic imbecile” limit of the spectrum. Though it’s hard to fault his honesty, goodwill, and competence as a martial arts master, with his clumsy, bumbling demeanour, it’s a wonder to us how this man manages to put his trousers on in the morning, let alone pull a punch or arrest a Japanese supervillain. Hats off to him, though: he’s the true King of Iron Fist.